


The Demon of Infuriating Houseguesting

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: SPN Poly Ship Bingo [59]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Deals, Demon!Dean, M/M, Multi, angel!Sam, background past Crowley/Naomi, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 05:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19100581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Castiel's quit his tech support job.  Samael - Sam - and Dean have taken up residence with him, and aside from some irritation, it's been going great.  Then Sam's late for dinner.





	The Demon of Infuriating Houseguesting

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SPN Poly Bingo  
> Square: Domestic
> 
> Written for SPN Fluff Bingo  
> Square: Reverse!Verse
> 
> Written for Dean Winchester Bingo  
> Square: Castiel
> 
> Written for SPN Song Bingo  
> Square: Work From Home - Fifth Harmony featuring Ty Dolla Sign

One day, Castiel was sure, he’d get used to the fact that when he came home from the grocery store, there was likely to be a demon lounging on his couch watching either football or porn. Or football porn, in one particularly memorable incident. Castiel would never be able to scrub “Roughing the Tight End” from his brain.

Today was not that day. It didn’t help that Dean had, it would seem, bought the new surround sound system he’d been talking about, along with a huge new TV, so it was like walking into a movie theater playing porn. Not for the first time, Castiel had to ask himself how Sam put up with this guy.

“Aw, you love me and you know it.” Dean blew a kiss at Castiel and at least paused the porn. “I got bored.”

The sad part was that Dean was right. Between this and going back to working tech support by day to support his real job, he’d take the demon, porn and all. It had been months since Castiel had to ask an incompetent blowhard to restart his computer. “Do I want to know where the money for this came from?”

“Sure. Deal with a kid whose rich daddy thought that meant he got to treat his kids like cattle. Daddy’s in jail for embezzlement, Mom’s got custody of the kids and the bank accounts, and I’m a million bucks richer.” Dean smirked and waved a hand at the TV. “Minus the cost of all this, now.”

“I thought you were supposed to make deals for souls.”

Dean made a face. “I’m not taking some kid’s soul. They barely got to use it. The king learned long ago that he can’t control me, I’m gonna do exactly what I want. With kids, I come up with some kind of alternative payment or refuse the deal. Money’s nice, especially since Sammy took on a pet project. My personal favorite was the one where I made the deal with the kid’s mom instead.” Castiel flinched, and Dean pointed at the screen. “For that, not her soul! She’s dead now, and I never checked, but I’m guessing her soul’s up in Sammy’s domain instead of mine.”

“And we’re done now. I don’t want to know any more.” Castiel headed for the kitchen, set down the groceries he’d been carrying, and came right back out. “One more thing I want to know. Where is Sam anyway?”

“Blah blee bloo research library no I can’t just access it from home, Dean, I have to actually go there to read the books,” Dean said, waving a dismissive hand. “Think he mentioned Denmark? I dunno, I wasn’t listening. He said he’d be back by dinner, which he’s not gonna eat so I don’t know why he bothers to be here for it.”

“He’s an angel. He doesn’t have to eat.”

“Hello, demon, I don’t have to eat either!”

“Yes, but you are a hedonist who enjoys eating in a way that would cause a heart attack at 50 in someone who was human,” Castiel grumbled as he headed back to the kitchen to put away the groceries. He certainly didn’t mind that, since Dean and Sam moved in with him, he had more time and energy to cook whatever he felt like cooking instead of dealing with the burnout from the tech support – and that he only cooked sometimes, because Dean enjoyed having a proper kitchen to play in without having to make a deal.

Times like this were kind of annoying. Castiel had told Dean that he was going shopping, and that his last stop would be for groceries because he had something he wanted to make for dinner. In his boredom, Dean had apparently decided to cook macaroni and cheese instead. It was tempting to throw the entire thing away, but it would be a waste of perfectly good food. On the other hand, letting it cook, getting it out, and putting it away to be rediscovered tomorrow seemed like a viable plan. Dean would likely forget all about it.

 

Dean did not forget about it, but he didn’t do or say anything when he showed up at supper to find beef stroganoff instead of macaroni and cheese on his plate. “Nice. What’s that?” He pointed to a bowl in front of the third chair. “Looks disgusting.”

“That is a kale and strawberry salad. It’s for Sam, if he shows up.” Cas was not at all surprised Dean thought it was disgusting. He agreed, really. But the few times Sam had bothered to join them in eating dinner, Castiel had noticed his preference for healthy foods. If he liked the stroganoff, great; if not, the kale should tempt him. Of course, that required him to show up.

Dean appeared to be thinking along the same lines. “Where the hell is he, anyway? He said he’d be back for dinner. The hell kind of angel is late for dinner?”

“Shut up, Dean.” Both had missed the sound of wings that announced Samael’s arrival. “Sorry to be late. I had to report to Zachariah for a mission briefing. They want me to track down some kid they suspect to be a Nephilim.”

“Oh, joy, which means you’re gonna be gone even more,” Dean grumbled. “You can’t leave me and Cas alone that much, you know that, we drive each other bananas.”

“You’ll be fine, but no. Zachariah gave me strict orders – if the kid’s a Nephilim, it has to be destroyed.”

Castiel dropped his fork. “You’d kill a kid just for existing?”

Sam, at least, had the grace to look ashamed. “That’s the Word of God. Nephilim are too powerful and uncontrollable to be allowed to exist. Thing is, I don’t agree with that. It’s true that back in the day, a lot of Nephilim caused trouble, but that was because their angel parent rarely bothered to teach them anything and their human parent couldn’t control them.” Sam sat down and looked at the bowl in front of him, a soft smile blooming on his face. “Now I’m really sorry to be late, if you went to the trouble to do this for me.”

Castiel opened his mouth to respond, but Dean beat him to it. “Why no? Zachariah says jump, aren’t you supposed to say how high?”

“Yeah, I’m overdue for a trip to Naomi, unless they’ve figured out that’s not gonna take,” Sam said. “I said no because this one, I can do most of the work from home. It’s only once I’ve figured out where the kid is that I have to go there, and for that one, I’m gonna want you and maybe a couple of Cas’s guys as backup.”

“Can I help you research?” Castiel asked. Researching with Sam was the best. Sam knew all kinds of random sites.

“Of cour… damn.” Sam set down the fork, and Castiel tried to hide his disappointment. “Sorry. Naomi’s calling. I’ll be back as soon as I can, but I kinda deserve this, I may have shot off my mouth at Zachariah for his stupid orders about killing the kid. No telling when I’ll be back, so please, you two, try not to kill each other?”

Dean was silent, poking at his stroganoff for a long time after Sam disappeared. Eventually, he dropped his fork, picked up his plate and Sam’s bowl, and headed to the kitchen to put away for later. “When Sam gets back, he’ll be different for a while. Never takes him long to break out of Naomi’s hold on his mind, but until he does, he’ll be a royal douchecanoe. Hell, he might not even come back until he breaks free, except to say that he’s a servant of Heaven, not a human or demon. They stopped making him do that after the third time seeing me accelerated his breaking free, but now that he’s latched onto you…”

Castiel tried to imagine Sam as a douchecanoe. It was not working. “He’s Sam. How bad can he be?”

“Trust me. He won’t be Sam. He’ll be Samael, the Angel of the Lord. Could be a couple weeks before we even see him, months before he gets back to the Sammy who’ll cuddle with you and drink with me and soundproof the apartment so he can be out of it and not hear anything when I throw you over a couch or something.” Dean grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator. “Good news, until he’s back to normal, I’m gonna be sulky and easier to live with than usual.”

“Huh?” How did Dean sulking make him easier to live with? When Castiel got sulky, he got sarcastic. He’d have thought Dean and sulking would be a nightmare.

“Yeah. I drink, I don’t go out except for work. Don’t really have much appetite for anything else. Wouldn’t bother with the work except that Dad always drilled it into me that nothing comes before the job, except for Sammy.” Dean finished the beer and opened the refrigerator for another one. “Okay, one other thing I go out for. Beer.” He was gone before Castiel could decide which of the million burning questions to ask first.

 

Castiel had gone to bed before Dean made it back from the beer run. Dean woke him up when he came back, flopping into the bed beside him. Castiel was going to glare and go right back to sleep, but Dean started talking. “So by Dad, I meant a guy named John Winchester. That’s how Sammy ended up as my brother. He chose to Fall and be born human, and John and Mary Winchester became his parents. I was his older brother. Then, when Sammy was six months old, this dicklord demon prince came and tried to feed Sammy his blood. You know what happens when you give demon blood to a fallen angel?”

“Everything explodes?” Castiel deadpanned. “The blood misses and ends up in the nearest actual human, which is how you ended up as a demon?”

“First one was closer. The Archangel Michael himself came swooping in, took possession of me, grabbed Sam’s grace, and shoved it back inside him. The grace and the blood caused a war inside Sammy, the released energy ganked the demon prince, and then Sam was an angel again, I was a drooling brainless mess, Mom was dead, and Dad was traumatized. My boss, Crowley, came to him and made a deal. He’d bring Mary back and take me instead. Dad agreed.”

“How could he do that to his own son?” Castiel couldn’t even imagine.

Dean shrugged. He didn’t answer the question at all. “I spent twenty-two years in Hell, my brain in an alternate life where Sammy wasn’t an angel and didn’t get Michaeled. There was still a fire and Mom still died, but Sammy and I were fine. The John I grew up with turned into a psychopathic hunter, thanks to losing Mom. It all felt so real, and even now that I remember my actual childhood being tortured until nothing but black smoke was left, that’s still what I consider my life.”

“And Sam…?”

“First thing I did once I got hauled into the real world was to hunt down Sammy. Sam remembered me, and he was pissed at Heaven for dragging him back in, so he agreed to run off with me and hang out here. I still work for Hell, he still works for Heaven, so for the most part they ignore that we’re still brothers in our hearts.”

“Dean, where do you keep the brain bleach?” Both Dean and Castiel jumped at Sam’s voice. Dean got to his feet and hugged Sam hard. “Thanks, but that’s not…”

“Thought we wouldn’t see you for a while, man. Not sorry.” Dean pulled back. “What do you need bleached?”

“Crowley, Naomi, and Mesopotamia. Crowley called in a three thousand year old favor to get Naomi to let me off this time.” Sam buried his face in his hands. “He took all of us back to watch her promise the favor, and I can never unsee that.”

Dean shuddered. “Thanks for sharing, dude. Why’s Crowley calling it in now?”

“Because if there’s a Nephilim out there, Crowley wants to know about it, and if it turns out not to be a Nephilim, most logical choice for the false positive is cambion, which Crowley definitely wants to know about.”

“Yeah, okay, I can see that.” Dean plopped back onto the bed beside Castiel. “Guess now I’m on the case?”

“Well, you were gonna be anyway, but yeah.” Sam looked between Dean and Castiel. “Room for me to join you two for the night?”

“Of course.” Castiel scooted closer to Dean, making room for Sam on the far side of the bed. As Sam settled in, Castiel turned his attention back to Dean. “Where are John and Mary now?”

“They moved to Wisconsin, had another kid, and they’re planning his wedding later this year,” Sam said. “Dean and I are keeping an eye on Adam, but he’s not involved in any of this, so we haven’t ever talked to them. Mom prays to me sometimes, but not like she knows me. Not sure if it was Michael or Crowley, but she doesn’t remember anything about that night.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe from Naomi, for now, anyway.” Castiel yawned. “First thing in the morning we start looking for the potential Nephilim?”

“Sounds good to me.” Dean kissed Castiel’s forehead. “Sorry to wake you up.”


End file.
